Bad dreams, bad day

TW: Child abuse, depression, trauma. Hi everyone (to new followers and people just passing), Today I have woken up feeling deflated and I write with less enthusiasm as I would like to. It has been so invigorating moving forward in the way that I have, I forgot that sometimes we will be met with hurdles.... Continue Reading →

Finding freedom on Fathers day

To probably most, if not all, victims of child abuse - when the respected parents day comes around of either mother or father, it can be a day of great difficulty and pain. I have had this experience for every fathers day I can remember. As the years have gone on, triggers have been heightened... Continue Reading →

Have I ever been in love?

TW: Childabuse, domestic violence. As time goes on (she says - aged 25), I am starting to question all of my past involvements with people. This doesn't just include boyfriends/sexual partners, friends and family are part of this. Primarily though, as the title would suggest, it is to do with the boyfriend part. Love to... Continue Reading →

Me vs Me – The battle of worthiness

CW: Suicide, self harm, narcissism, child hood trauma. Worthiness; 'The quality of being good enough; suitability'  'The quality of deserving attention or respect' This is arguably one of my biggest conflictions - the majority of my time  I embody confidence in all aspects; physically, personally..maybe even a bit intellectually? (Although I can be extremely ditzy).... Continue Reading →

Letting go of the unforgivable

  TW: Substance misuse, alcoholism, child abuse, depression.   Throughout most of my life I have always believed that if I was to be 'free', I had to forgive, let go, find 'peace' with the people who have wronged me (or at least perceived to have wronged me in my own eyes) . I have... Continue Reading →

Learning to love change (all of it)

CW: Mental health, substance misuse. I have just realised that it has been seven months since I posted, where have seven months gone? So here is just a quick update as to what I have been up to - (mentally, physically and spiritually bla bla). The last few months have seen some 'ups and downs'... Continue Reading →

The silent epidemic

TW: Child abuse, depression, PTSD I have always been aware that we as abuse victims are to be tabooed with the 'cycle of abuse'. The cycle being that we grow up and go on to abuse our children and/or others, it is something that I have always found myself being intensely defensive over and I... Continue Reading →

Am I greater than my past?

TW: Child abuse, depression One of the many different things I have battled with other the years is trying to believe that I really am 'greater than my past'. I don't know if anyone else has ever heard this, but I have heard this ALOT and if I am being completely honest, I still don't... Continue Reading →

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